Oversharing: A nerve-racking vice

First off, allow me to define over sharing. “Oversharing is saying something personal or inappropriate in the wrong setting or to the wrong person”. This could mean giving off a little too much information about your personal life in an inappropriate setting or giving off way more information than you intended to give to a certain group of people or person. Oversharing is totally different from gossiping as oversharing is based on your personal life while gossip, well, it’s always about anything but your personal life.

So let’s get into it. Over the years, I have noticed my pattern of oversharing based on the fact that I struggle to share just enough and/or not at all depending on the group of people I am with. I have gone ahead to replay scenes from a night out, day’s shenanigans or social gatherings and, I am always overwhelmed by how much information about my personal life, came out of my mouth, which then brings about the crippling anxiety. It’s almost like my mouth gets a brain of it’s own and just goes on and on and on 😂 and I kid you not, it’s nerve-racking. However, after understanding that oversharing is my weakness and what triggers me to overshare, I have made it a point to train myself on how to share just enough or not at all while still enjoying the few perks I love about it.

One of the most important things I have learnt is to be very cautious about who I keep around me and who I talk to because for an over sharer, things can go so wrong, so fast. I love having a few friends in my life (plus I normally fail miserably when it comes to making new friends) simply because it’s rare to find a few people who will listen, understand and support your life decisions without having to relay that information in a different setting, to an eager crowd. We live in a world where loyalty is so rare since so many people are quick to comment, share unsolicited opinions/stories and show interest in your life for all the wrong reasons.

With all these facts, while I continue working on myself as an over sharer, I have learnt to choose and hand pick my company to the dot. A few things that almost every oversharer can relate to is hearing the wrong/modified version of their story being relayed in a different setting, a trunk full of their personal life written on every wall or at the tip of everyone’s mouth, being judged depending on what one has heard and living in an open book where anyone (Sometimes including strangers) knows a little more than you had hoped for about your personal life. So in order to guard yourself and your relationships, it’s important to understand and know who to talk to, when and where. The company you keep around you is quite important because once you overshare to the wrong people, only disaster could come out of that, best result being, the greatly personal story being modified and relayed to an eager audience.

So, as much as oversharing might be a highly unfavorable vice and greatly nerve-racking, especially as an adult, it’s not all bad. There are a few things that I have learnt from it that I would never have learnt otherwise. So here it goes:-

1. Create friendships/relationships with intention and meaning. When making friends, it’s important to understand how they impact your life. What do you talk about? How do they make you feel? What’s the effect of their friendship on you? How do they react when your name is brought up in conversations? How do they talk to and about you? If you find, that you are not comfortable with their vibe, learn to walk away and minimize your interaction with them.

2. It’s okay to trust and fail. I must say, this has been the hardest thing to do in my life and this has come at a cost of losing intentional friendships/ relationships and having the modified version of my personal life make rounds around social circles et al. Every time I meet a person I vibe with, I normally get comfortable enough to overshare and I have failed more than I have won. Despite of that, it’s important to keep trying because you could get that 1/10 that can be added onto your friend list but also, like a colleague always told me “Know your friends”

3. Read the room and pay attention to patterns. It’s important to actually take note and understand people’s body language, behavior, mood and attitude towards you over a certain period of time. This helps you understand when someone is prying for information, or when you’re making people uncomfortable or making a fool out of yourself. This makes you aware of a change in behavior, situations or mood that may help you curb the problem without adding salt to the wound because technically, there is always a reason as to why a situation or relationship changes “out of the blue”. Most of the things I know now, I have learnt from this.

4. Minimize interaction to only people you’re comfortable with. Choose yourself and appreciate your alone time, only have social gatherings with the few people you are comfortable with, give you peace and ensure that your secrets are safe with them. It’s only human to share so you can’t avoid that but while you’re at it, choose your people and stick to them. If you’re an over sharer like I am, listening to music/ Isolating yourself in situations where you don’t want to partake in conversation or sticking to a social routine / scheduled appointments with friends or even choosing to focus on the task at hand instead of partaking in “Banter” always helps.

5. Always remember that it’s not your story to tell. This comes in when you find the need to tell that one story you heard or were told that relates to the conversation. If it’s not your personal experience, then it’s also not your story to tell. Period!

6. Listen and appreciate other people’s stories. The challenge with over sharers is that we sometimes do not listen, we just want to jump in with a relatable/ personal experience as soon as someone starts telling their story. So start replacing urge to tell a relatable story when someone tells you how they feel with asking questions that keep them talking eg how that situation makes them feel, why they feel that way, for how long and what they have done or are planning to do… This, not only stops you from oversharing but also makes the other person feel heard, understood, appreciated and keeps the conversation going.

7. Find out what triggers you to overshare and work on it. This could be anxiety, being nervous, alcohol or even having the need to fit in/ prove a point. Once you know the triggers, you can easily solve the problem from its root.

All in all, as an over sharer, it’s quite important to vet and carefully choose the people you keep around you at all times because what you say to who, when and where could greatly affect the intentional and meaningful relationships intended for your life; so go ahead and set your own principles and standards, live by them and remember that you do not owe anyone an explanation. You can’t afford to live otherwise.

The year – 2020!

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I have been dragging on writing about this because, I kid you not, I have lost the will to do anything that keeps me sane.

None the less, let’s get into it. I remember when I started 2020, I was the happiest I could be, I welcomed the year in all the happy places I could think of and I knew/believed 2020 was the year. The year everything would fall into place, the year I would thrive, learn and be awesome. However, this feeling only lasted for a month. From February, things went downhill from there; No, not rock bottom downhill, I mean the feeling of everything falling apart piece by piece, in the slowest way possible up until March when everything finally crumbled. It actually felt like God was playing Jenga with the world and my guardian angel shook the last tile. Everything I knew as “normal” became totally obtuse and I was forced to unlearn and relearn how to stay sane, mentally stable and motivated during the “New normal”.

COVID-19, a simple disease that can actually be managed by washing your hands has managed to change our perspective in everything. Working from home has become the new normal. Socializing is no longer something we can afford to do. We have mastered the art of video conferencing and holding online parties. Some of us, have become Tik Tok famous (Definitely not me, I couldn’t dance to any of the Tik Tok trends even if it’s to save my life). The world almost ran out of Toilet paper, is that even real? Priorities have changed completely and day drinking has even become socially acceptable. Many countries have gone on complete lock down – something we never thought was humanly possible.

So that’s what I am here to write about. I can speak for many of us when I say that we have picked up a few habits or hobbies that were necessarily not even on our bucket list in the first place. I have learnt how to cook:- I can confirm that I make some awesome pork ribs and coleslaw and let’s not forget that mouth watering lasagne. I have never been one for exercise but I have now made it a point to walk at least twice every week for about an hour and a half (Thank you Angie). I have rewatched Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal and tried to pick up on all the different genres of entertainment that I would never have given a second thought. I have buried myself in work. I have drunk wine, a lot of wine, in fact, I am writing this with a bottle of wine next to me, I could say that I am now an expert at Wine; If that’s even a thing 😂 but none of all that has actually kept me in the right space of mind. None of all this has made me get used to the new normal, none of this has made me adapt to the new reality.

I see so many people advising others on what they should do right now. All over social media, I see things like “Go learn a new skill”, “Sign up for that class you have always wanted”, “Use this time to advance your CV” et al and I hear you. However, so many people are trying adapt to the new normal and to just live by the day, to stay sane, to survive, to not lose hope, to dream of what life would be if they had it any other way. So many lives have changed in ways we don’t know, married people have got to know who they married, Racism has not paused as we can all see the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag, Jobs have been lost, domestic violence has been loud, priorities have completely changed, our perspective on employment has changed (Is working from home the new normal? I definitely hope not):- in the middle of all this, staying sane, positive and maintaining a peace of mind is the goal. Everyone is trying to stay sane in their own unique way.

So what are you doing or not doing to stay sane? How are you spreading this love and positivity to your neighbor? How are you adapting to the new normal – is it something you are acquainted to now? And lastly, at what point should you be worried? What is that one sign that shows you that you have now reached the bottom of the rabbit hole? At what point do you actually let it all go?

Is this the new normal? What if we are unable to adapt to the new normal? I am not writing to tell you what to do as I, myself, I am still figuring it out and trying not to get to the bottom of the Rabbit hole. So in the mean time, I will just take some wine and dream, dream of everything but the reality. Dream of a life so beautiful it can’t be tainted. Dream of a love so perfect, I can relate to all these love songs.

Just close my eyes and dream of anything but the year, 2020.

Who are you?

So recently, I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine. You know, during this lock down, every body is reflecting and asking themselves all the questions that they could have otherwise hidden behind the alcohol, the chats, the parties and the job. Now, that everyone has no where to go, as humans, we have gone back to the basics – redefining ourselves; like it’s a new year’s “New year, new me” theme. But that’s besides the point. While I vented away, she asked me the most basic yet most rare question “Who are you?”. Yeah, it seems simple to answer but guess what… my mind rushed to all the personality tests I have ever taken, those times when friends reached out to tell me who I am, those definitions that my ex lovers tagged upon me… my mind ran every where but none of all that Zeroed down to who I am and what I want.

I am sure many of you have heard statements like “Life will humble you”, “lower your standards or you won’t achieve it”, “No body is perfect”, “Better the demon you know than the angel you don’t know” among others that society has deemed fit to get someone to settle for what is being offered in contrary to who they are. Society has taught us that with high standards, then you are blowing your own trumpet, with low standards, it’s self pity, if you say no to what is being offered then you’re rude and entitled; this way we depend on those around us to define us and tell us what they think we should do “through their eyes” because, God Forbid, we make the wrong decision. Today, it has become so rare for someone to know who they are and what they really want without the help of society. We often find ourselves asking those around us to define who we are and then take baby steps from there, to either prove them wrong, question their integrity or praise them for a definition well done with my favorite statement “You know me so well”.

We as humans, always forget the simple things that define us. The little things that make us laugh, our fears, our standards, our demons, our charms and those little embarrassing habits 😂. Society has led us to settle; settle in jobs, settle in relationships, settle in friendships and so much more. I am sure you have come across that one person, friend, lover, colleague who has always said that they want one thing, but always opt for another, they believe they are “this person” yet they always defy oneself. Is this a co incidence? No! You might actually find that they themselves do not know who they are. If you came up and asked them who they are, they might stagger, think hard or even ask you, who you think they are.

So, in a world where society has taught us that knowing who you are is not exactly the go-to; That the people you hang around define you or even the people around you know and understand you better than you know yourself. Take a minute, an hour, days and answer these questions, on a deeper level, not the CV level where you’re ambitious and trying to impress 😉. When the lights go off and no one is around.

1. Who are you?

2. What do you want? Relationship wise, Professionally and Socially.

3. Is your past life a reflection of who you are?

These are very simple questions that will help guide your life, your future and your decisions. Think deep, face your demons with your face held high. Blow your trumpet if you have to, You deserve it 🎉. But in the end, know who you are, what you want and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Forgiveness? Oh yes!

Around the second quarter of 2018, I was in that place where life did not make sense to me. I do not know if you have heard of the saying that “even Rock bottom has a basement”, well, I was not even in the basement, I was actually beneath the basement. My personal and professional life all crashed in a period of a month. Everything changed drastically without prior warning or even a heads up, you know (My guardian angel might have been taking a really really long nap). I lost all hope in life, humanity and literally everything. Panic attacks became routine, depression became a friend, Anxiety had a dance party with my thoughts and feelings and alcohol became my only worthy friend.

But that’s not what I am here to talk about. All through this, I nurtured my grudges like they were my babies, I wished that at the end of it all, whoever had played a part in making me feel that way would get their fair share of how unfair life is, would be as miserable as I was. Karma became my god as I prayed to it every day like my life depended on it. However, I ended up being more depressed, bitter and sad because every time I thought I was happy, these negative thoughts would rob everything from me and it’s until I forgave myself, I forgave all these people and I focused on being stronger, picking myself up and healing myself that I began to actually heal and be happier. It’s then that I achieved a peace of mind.

What we do not realize as we nurture grudges and trash talk the people who hurt us, is that these thoughts consume us. Take an example, when you wish bad for someone,  you always want to know how they are doing; Are they doing better than you or has Karma come into play? Are they happy? Are they sad? Are they trying to reach out? This whole time, it’s them on your mind. The whole time you keep telling yourself you do not care, you actually do for whatever reasons. You let the negativity take over your thoughts to a point when you are unable to think about the good that is currently happening in your life. You keep telling yourself you do not care yet you do. As long as you’re still trash talking, plotting your revenge or even being affected by something that happens in their life then you have not let it go, you have not forgiven and they are still playing a big role in your thoughts and peace of mind.

Yes, we have all had the unfair share of life at one point, we have been betrayed, treated unfairly, humiliated, left behind, misunderstood or even hurt by the people that we love or deeply care about; could be family, friends, lovers, partners or even colleagues. One thing I know for sure is Karma is not real, what goes around doesn’t come back around. Life is unfair and that’s it. Do not waste your short life nurturing grudges or even wishing that Karma should do it’s job because it will not. Protect your peace of mind every chance you get and continue spreading love and light.

My only advice is: Always forgive and cut the person off OR forgive and work on it. LOVE YOURSELF, SPREAD LOVE AND PROTECT YOUR PEACE OF MIND. Do not let negativity consume you, do not expect people or life to be fair, do not let the things that hurt you take away your peace of mind and delay your healing. Cry and pray about it if you are a believer, go to therapy, talk about it with friends or do whatever helps you heal.

It gets better with time even if it takes days, a month, a year or even years. IT ALL GETS BETTER WITH TIME.

 

The Dilemma of New Beginnings

 

As humans, we would rather take a step back than adhere to the thought of starting something new. Everyone has heard of the saying “better the devil you know than the angel you don’t know” which has become a culture in our day to day lives. It doesn’t matter if it is at work, family, marriage, friendships, relationships or school, we have come to settle for the comfort of that little saying; change is not in our vocabulary.

Let’s talk about the most common scenario (this might relate more to the Girl child but gentlemen, try to keep up 😊). Once a girl child starts University,  she is expected to have a partner, the pressure increases after graduation. Eventually too many succumb to the pressure and hold onto an empty relationship. Why? “better the devil you know than the angel you don’t” they say.  These few words have made many believe that they are “gods” who can “mold” a person into their liking.  The fear of starting over because of the comfort of what one currently has is over whelming.  Further still,  quite common in the institution of marriage,  one would rather be unhappy, stay in a broken marriage than start over again. Questions from the elders will start to flood in;  “at least you are married,  do you know how many people want that?”, “what if you go out there and you never find someone better than him?”, and there is the award winning “This is not the age for you to start over,  stay in that marriage and thank God you even have one,  be patient my child”. At a certain age, normally at 30, the girl child is prisoner to the the saying; “Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t know”.

This not only happens in sexual relationships, it applies to friendships and work as well.  Our minds have bought into the culture of dragging because we hold onto our comfort. Let me take it to work real fast; one would rather have an office job, an assured end of month salary however little than go out there and start their own business from scratch. True, half of the businesses fail, in addition to that, profits are not assured hence making the decision making complicated.

To be honest, new beginnings can be terrifying.  The thought of starting over does not sit well with us as humans including myself, the comfort of holding onto something long enough gives us the false hope that it will stay forever.  What if things go wrong? What if you do not find something better?  However what if all works in your favor?  What if you find your happiness out there?  There are too many questions we ask ourselves and that is just right. To be honest, new beginnings do not go 100% well for everyone, at times the past is better although to some, the past is just the past.

Basically, new beginnings are like a new Puzzle;  full of mystery, excitement,  doubts, faith and hope that you will finally have it all figured out.  The chances of making it or failing are 50/50. None the less, never be afraid to start over at any age, stand up and start over ( I actually think I will be 60 and starting over 😂). Good luck.

Diary of a “20 Something” year old…

Let’s talk about love for a while. When we speak of love,  most people think of heart break, broken promises and lust while others think of the fairy tales, telenovelas and the “happily every afters”.  Sadly, love is no fairy tale. Many “twenty something” year olds have actually come to believe that they were not meant to find any love that belongs to just them (Personally,  I speak of love and give the best relationship advice while I spend lonely nights in my bed watching comedies and venting about why I have never found love 🙄). One thing I know is life is selfless, kind, considerate, understanding, Patient and most importantly it is between two people. However, we are quick to judge and set useless standards as we compare our own love story to the other relationships we have come to know about. We go ahead to speak of the Prince Charming… “He must me handsome, tall, with blue eyes, must have a 6 pack, a big car and his own place…,” that we forget that every relationship is Unique and People only show you what they want you to see. Then the biological clock that never stops ticking comes in as women are taught to aspire for marriage right from the youngest age, they are labeled “Mrs” “Miss” and “Ms” depending on their marital status which creates a situation of them living their lives with that aspiration.

Any who, I am not one to speak because I can honestly never say I have experienced true love. May be I love too hard, maybe I am not good enough,  maybe I come off as desperate or clingy, may be, may be, may be… The may be’s are way too many every time I think of my love story.  Don’t get me wrong, if I had a dollar for every time someone said they loved me, I would be Bill Gates. The thing is; most people confuse “love” with “infatuation” and “like”. Here is what I know about love:

Love is tolerant, yet a mistake or two can break a relationship, Love is patient yet people are too quick to let go and move on, Love is kind yet they say the rudest things in times of anger… Sounds familiar? I believe so.

• Love is patient, love is kind and yet we always complain about what we give and don’t get.
• Love sees no fault and yet we are quick to point out another’s faults.
• Love is forgiving and yet we are slow to offer forgiveness but quick to pass judgment.

Everyone needs someone to call their own, someone to hug and kiss when times get rough or may be it would have been easier if all ladies were Disney Princesses or may be if we were the Juliets and the Romeos were willing to die for us.

We are so caught up in the bubble of perfection that we always forget that there is no such thing as a “perfect love story”. The imperfections keep the love strong. We are caught up between starting over and holding onto what makes us comfortable…

We do not choose who we fall in love with, the heart chooses who it wants but leaves no guarantee that their heart will choose you. Actually, the worst part of being “20 something” year old is the constant battle between choosing to start over once you realize that his heart is not yours or to actually hold onto the old love that you have grown to know regardless of the flaws.

But do not ask me what love is as I wouldn’t answer that. As they say, Love is beautiful, however it has broken more humans than accidents or epidemic diseases ever will.  In the end, love has remained a mystery to many.

Lost

The nights are dark, the days are grey, both are short and all I want to do is escape; escape from my reality, escape from my thoughts and escape from my feelings. I want to stop feeling…  

The thing about love is you will never see it coming. Day by day, you just get attached to someone and slowly by slowly, they become your everything, your priority, and before you know it, you are breaking down all your walls to let them in… That’s love after all, that’s what every one says love is… Putting the other person first… 

Thing is, whatever you may do, your perfection will never be enough if that’s not the heart that’s meant to love you.  You could be amazing, tolerant, forgiving, understanding, patient and everything nice but still someone will find a reason to choose someone else over you. It then becomes all about choice, what he wants and who he is willing to choose; At that point, everything shutters with every reality, that at this point, it’s out of your control, now you are just any other girl and the choice is his to make, your fate lies in a stranger’s hands… 

At that point, you can’t tell the difference between day and night, your wails are hidden within the walls of your room and your pillow soaks up from all the tears.  Is that even really love? 

The endless questions in your head rob you of the peace within you, nights are shorter, days even longer, darkness becomes your comfort, heart break is the order of the day, you are lost from those around you; Lost in your thoughts, lost in the “what ifs”, lost in the disappointment, lost in the doubt, lost in the disbelief, lost in the reality, lost in the emotions, Lost in the loneliness… Lost in everything but anything that actually matters… LOST. You can’t recognize yourself in the mirror… The thought of not being good enough robs you of the hope that you still had in the future, you become a stranger to your own self and to the world, everything is crumbling to pieces and you can’t piece them back together, that’s heart break… You are greeted by your soaked pillow every morning and wished a good night by the confort of loneliness. 

Nothing could ever describe what heart break feels like. 

I loved you, trusted you, gave you my all, stood by you, compromised for you, defended you… I was your biggest cheerleader yet right now, I write this amidst my sobs because I am broken, I am lost and all I can think of is why I wasn’t good enough. 

​Mental Illness is not Witch Craft.

Africans should understand that mental illness is not and will never be witch craft or as a result of poor upbringing.  Just like physical illness,  mental illness equally affects our bodies and requires immediate medical attention.  

We have been brought up to believe that mental illness is for the “whites”, ever heard of the phrase “those are white people diseases”?, unfortunately, mental illness is categorized in such insanity. The only mental illness that is recognized in Africa is “madness”. Honestly, anyone can suffer from mental illness, most of us suffer from these illnesses without a single clue hence the constant suicides and mental break downs. 

The common types of Mental illness include;

• Anxiety & Panic Disorders.
• Bipolar Disorder.
• Depression.
• Eating Disorders.
• Schizophrenia.
• Substance Abuse & Addiction.

I won’t go into what each of them entails however here are a few things you need to keep in mind when it comes to mental illness. 

1. Mental illness does not require a counselor but rather a therapist. As much as the two go hand in hand, they have a few differences.  A counselor will advise you on something you should change and take up in order to avoid the situation while on the other hand, a therapist will find out what triggers your mental illness and which medication would work best.  Someone suffering from depression does not need to be told that “Be thankful because others have it worse” but rather, the patient needs someone who can level with them, listen and advise on the right medication 

2. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. It is an illness just like cough or malaria or even headache. The patient needs immediate medical attention. 

3. There are different causes of mental illness and they all cannot be summed up to poor up bringing and definitely not witch craft. Yes,  there are people whose illnesses have been triggered childhood up bringing however,  others are triggered by other situations like societal standards and body shaming.  Pay attention. 

4. When someone approaches you to discuss a mental illness issue, do not ridicule them or stop at telling them to pray about it.  This person has trusted you,  why not engage them and advise them to see a medical personnel as soon as possible, better still why not offer to go with them?

5. Men suffer the most from Depression because of societal  pressures of masculinity. Most men consider showing emotions  as a sign of “weakness” hence cannot talk about how they feel; those little emotions pile up till they burst out of that little corner they have been shoved in hence mental illness/breakdowns.  Worse still, these patients would rather be caught dead than approach a medical facility in regard to mental illness. As a result, suicide rates among the men greatly  increase between the age of 35 to 50. 

6. If mental illness is not attended to, it could damage relationships in families. Mental illness unlike any other illness causes a lot of damage in families.  I am certain all of you have heard stories of children not being able to talk to their parents because of the relationship they have nurtured while growing up. This same relationship is carried on by these children once they become parents and so do their children.  This results to cases like bullying, suicide, drug addiction  and Violence to mention but a few.  As a parent,  make sure that your children and yourself maintain a healthy mental state; be supportive, listen, educate your children and do not push them away. This is a culture they will carry on for generations. 

7. When Depression interweaves with Anxiety, it leads to cases of drug abuse, alcohol addiction, physical abuse and suicide.  As much as these two disguise as just normal emotions which might not call for alarm at an early stage,  they are really common and need at most medical attention. 

None the less,  look out for the people around you,  mental illness is not something to be afraid of and should equally be treated as any other physical sickness. Be as supportive as you can, listen and contact the best therapist you can come across.

Back Again

Yes I am back again.  Been up and about and my life has been on the fastest Roller coaster with a million turns and bumps that I started to think I was on a Monster ride. 

My writing is a bit laid back but you all got to deal with it 😂😂😂😂. 

I have also promised my self that I will be writing posts every week. (I know I am off topic but just thought I would include it). 

Most of you might wonder what the image has got to do with my Title and my endless chatter about being back again. Here is the story. 

Over the days, my anxiety decided to well,  come out of the little box in my head that I had shoved it in.  I found myself asking too many questions that I didn’t even have the answers to.  Little by little,  I found my self burying my soul into a dark object with thick walls that I couldn’t get out of.  

This is the thing,  many times we worry about tomorrow,  we worry about the future,  we worry about everything and anything and actually forget to live in the Present.  We have become experts at Procrastinating because,” well, that can be done tomorrow”. We tend to lose focus on the present in an attempt to chase a better tomorrow.  

Why do we worry? Why do we lose the opportunities in the Present yet tomorrow is not even promised?  Is it out mind set or we choose to ignore some facts.  

Through out this entire time, I thought,  If tomorrow is not promised then why not embrace every second like it is my last.  Why not laugh like It is my last laugh,  why not love like my heart depends on it? 

 The only question is “Why not now?”

One chapter at a go

Too Many times, things fall apart. The point is to keep on moving,  through the storm,  through the tears, through the set backs… Moving on is always the key they said.

How about if people would slow down a Bit, follow their hearts and take as much time as They need to heal? Wouldn’t the life be better after all? When it comes to moving on, it means you are completely over the past, then Why move on when you are still at the mercy of someone who you once called your world? May be we rush and That’s Why we crash.

A good heart remains a good heart, society shouldn’t dictate What is supposed to be done, if you love someone, be your own judge. Don’t downtalk him because of What your friends say. Notice his actions, follow your heart and Take your Brain with you. You know him best,  none of your friends know him that well. So Let’s be honest with our true selves and not be in a rush to crash.

Always close one book before starting a new one, one chapter might be depressing,  the other chapter of the book might bring joy.
Every one’s story differs.